Pornography Destroyed Almost Destroyed Jim’s Life

This is a true story about how pornography destroyed Jim’s life but how reclaimed it before it was to late.

How Jim Destroyed His Life but Quickly Reclaimed It!

(The name of the client was changed for confidentiality purposes)

Euphoric Pleasure

Jim remembers the overpowering euphoric feeling that seemed to rush through his body the first time he viewed pornography. Being young, he had no idea what this feeling was but the intensity of this experience left him wanting more. The pleasure was so intense that from that moment on he never wanted to be without it and yet at the same time he felt guilty about it. He kept his feelings to himself. He was afraid to tell anyone, especially his parents. Feeling the natural chemical rush that accompanies budding adolescence development, he quickly became consumed with seeking out porn and even at a very early age it became a central focus of his secret life. Throughout high school, he was never able to go for more than a couple of weeks without viewing porn or masturbating, vowing to quit many times but was never able to do it for more than a couple of weeks. After a period of a couple of weeks of sobriety, he would hear a voice in his head say, “You really don’t have that bad of a problem or else you couldn’t stay sober for so long” or “there is nothing wrong with this, everyone else is doing it to.” Listening to this voice would always lead to acting out again. Feeling frustrated and confused, he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t stop. In high school, he began dating girls and before long became sexually active with them.

Guilt and shame flooded his body but he would minimize his acting out activities as being normal. Relationships never lasted long and he described feelings of isolation and an inability to really feel connected with other people. Thoughts and fantasies always centered on sex and his relationships with women were based solely on sex. Women were objects to him. Sex was the only way he knew how to experience what he described as “real pleasure.” He describes himself as being popular in high school, because of his ability to play sports and put on a good face. Struggling with his private life, he felt like he was faking his way through life and didn’t know where to turn. Isolated, ashamed and feared being ridiculed, he kept his secret life to himself.

Utterly Confused

Confused by the messages that pornography was sending Jim, he began to believe that women truly wanted sex all the time and they were always on the hunt for the perfect guy. His acting out behaviors continued throughout the years, skipping from one relationship to another. By his mid-twenties his addiction reached new levels as he ventured into the world of escorts. He describes his experiences with escorts as disgusting and shameful. In his fantasy world, such women really wanted and desired him but he quickly got the message that the escorts could care less for him. Confused and more depressed, his addiction had become so powerful, he believed the lie that the next sexual experience would be the one where true intimacy would be achieved. He craved to be with women but was confused by the fact that when the sex was over, the women would leave him.

Staring Death in the Face

Because of the impact pornography had on his brain, his thinking had become delusional. He finally hit the bottom when he called an escort and after their business was concluded he had no money to pay for her services. He knew this going into the evening, but he was so far into the addiction his reasoning capacity was gone. He describes his mortal fear as the escorts’ pimp called him and began to threaten him with all sorts of things. This is the moment when he finally got it. What he was doing was either going to kill him or completely destroy any hope of living a normal life.

Facing Addiction: Ending Sex Medication

Jim has been in treatment for the past 3 years and has made significant progress in facing his addiction. He no longer seeks out escorts and understands that there in no lasting satisfaction in illicit sexual activities of any kind, and is learning how to identify his feelings and emotions. He is also learning to address them and feel them in a healthy manner, learning the significance of leaning into the pain, rather than running from them, or medicate them with sex, which only tends to make matters worse. He states, “I have found hope where I was sure none existed. Real relationships are not easy, but I now fully accept that there is no lasting satisfaction or peace while actively living in the addiction.”

During the past three years, Jim has had some minor slips with pornography upon the way but he has stayed engaged in the treatment process. He no longer lives in denial but actively seeks help from others. He is no longer trying to do it all alone. He has learned to recognize his addictive voice. He now understands that IT will always find a good excuse for acting out, such as the stress of work, relationship issues, financial difficulties etc. He also understands that IT will tell him that he deserves a reward after having done something good.

Don’t Be Discouraged

The purpose in telling Jim’s story is not to discourage you in any way, but to help you understand the progressive nature of this disease if left unchecked. It is also evident from this story that change and recovery are lifelong processes. It wasn’t until Jim was willing to reach out for professional help that he began to change.

You may not be this bad, but neither was Jim when he first started. He never thought he would be the wolf, doing the things mentioned above. Get an Instant Download of the same system that helped Jim to find lasting satisfaction and peace by clicking on the image below.

The InnerGold System can and will change your life, if you follow it. Decide to change today. Decide on your level of commitment. Free Stuff or You are serious about recovery?